How do you think if at all you have contributed to your spouses weight problem?

I personally don’t think that I contributed to Butch’s weight problem. I feel that he had this food addiction before we met.

Are you ever embarrassed about their weight? Do you feel guilty about feeling that way?

Yes, yes, yes!!!! There I said it!!!! I think that I would get the most embarrassed when people would stare and gawk at us. Or I would get embarrassed when Butch would be sitting down on a couch and had trouble getting up or when we would be out with friends or family and he just really ate too much. I could go on and on but I definitely felt embarrassment. I also felt horrible about feeling this way. I felt like I was betraying my husband in some way because I was embarrassed. I questioned my love for him. Can I truly love him and feel embarrassed too? Of course you can love your spouse and feel what you feel. It just seems like dealing with this delicate subject made me become so irrational.

Do you lose interest in sex because of your spouses weight problem?

For me the answer is yes and no. I had accepted that my husband was 450 pounds when I married him so seeing him nude was no big surprise to me. I loved him for him. However, the intimacy problems came when he felt inadequate or ashamed of himself and consequently we both lost interest I feel. He did not want to disappoint me and I did not want to be disappointed so I think we both avoided it. However, I really longed for intimacy because I really wanted to communicate to him how much I loved him in that way.

What restrictions does the weight have on your marriage and social life?

How does that make you feel? There are a tremendous amount of restrictions put on our social life because of Butch’s weight. For example we really could not go to the theatre or concerts because the seats were all too small to accommodate Butch’s frame. Amusement park rides were totally out so Butch could not enjoy the children like he wanted. His mobility was a constant challenge and caused great tension. Butch really did not want to socialize when people came over because of the demons that he was fighting. All this made me very sad and angry. Sad because I did not want him to suffer and angry because I was suffering. It was unfair that I could not enjoy concerts, plays, ball games etc because of Butch weight. I resented him at times because of the restrictions he put on me and I was not the one with the problem…so I thought.

Have you ever had thoughts about divorcing your spouse because the challenges of their weight got too hard?

I thought about running far away and never coming back. Is that divorce. I don’t know. I love my husband and I never wanted to divorce him, I guess I just longed for a normal life, whatever that is.

Do you ever find yourself attracted to other men/women who have a more fit body? How does that make you feel and why?

I think everybody at onetime or another has admired the looks of someone else. I am no exception. Was I attracted to them to the point that I would jeopardize my marriage…no way? I enjoy looking at men who have a six-pack no doubt about it. In a way I feel bad especially if Butch would sense it. However, I am human with many faults.

Do you have feelings of hopelessness regarding their weight?

Yes always. Sometimes you wallow so deep in pity that the thought of having a “normal” life escapes you. And even though I believe in God I often felt that the problem was even too big for him. (I’m sorry Lord)